Sexual taboos are defined as behaviours, thoughts, or things that are considered inappropriate, forbidden, or not commonly accepted in society. These sexually sensitive topics are usually shrouded in secrecy and not openly discussed, making them taboo. Sex taboos are prevalent in almost every culture and society globally, and they have been passed down from generation to generation. They limit our sexual expression and freedom. Additionally, violating them carries a significant stigma, shame, and social ostracization.
However, not all sex acts that are called taboos are actually ‘ bad’. Some, if not most are perfectly okay, if they are being performed by two consenting adults. Keep reading to learn of five sexual taboos that shouldn’t be called taboos.
BDSM
BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism) refers to consensual sexual practices that involve power play, role-playing, and pain. BDSM is often associated with sexual deviance, perversion, and psychopathology, making it a sensitive and taboo topic in many cultures and societies. Some people view BDSM as a form of violence, abuse, and degradation, where individuals exploit and harm each other. Others view BDSM as a form of sexual liberation, where individuals can explore their desires and boundaries in a safe and consensual manner. Regardless of the definitions and meanings attached to BDSM, it remains a challenging and controversial topic, affecting the sexual expression and freedom of many people and it shouldn’t.
Agreed, BDSM isn’t for everyone but neither is Coca-Cola. People that don’t like Coke choose something else. Like so, if you, personally don’t like BDSM and want nothing to do with it, that’s awesome for you, you get to choose something else, like vanilla sex. Still, if my partner and I like BDSM, we should be able to engage in it without fear of reproach because we are two consenting adults. It’s okay if you want a little(or a lot) of pain with your pleasure and it’s more than okay if the thought of getting tied up makes you drip so much, you end up creating a little pool in your underwear. Do you, just be safe!
How To Practice This Safely
The first and most important tip for safe BDSM practice is communication. People often assume that their partner knows what they want, like, and dislike, but it is not always the case. Before any BDSM activity, partners should have an open and honest conversation about their boundaries, limits, and preferences. This includes discussing what activities they are comfortable with and what they are not. Additionally, the partners should agree on a safe word that either of them can use if they want to stop the activity immediately. This safe word should be a word that is not commonly used in everyday conversations and should be easy to remember. This way, if someone is uncomfortable or in pain during the activity, they can stop it without any confusion or miscommunication.
The second tip is to start slowly and gradually. It is important to allow enough time for the body to adjust to the new sensations and activities. Engaging in BDSM too fast or too intensely without proper preparation can lead to severe injuries or trauma. Therefore, starting with lighter activities and gradually building up to more extreme ones is essential. Moreover, partners should check in with each other often to ensure they are both still comfortable with the activity and to assess if any modifications need to be made.
The third tip is to use safety equipment where necessary. BDSM equipment such as handcuffs, restraints, ropes, and paddles should be safely designed and used. It is essential to educate oneself on how to use them safely and correctly. Furthermore, it is crucial to use high-quality equipment that is not likely to break or malfunction during activity. Additionally, practising in a clean, tidy environment and using sterilized toys and instruments can help prevent the spread of infections and other diseases.
On top of these tips, it is important to mention that the BDSM community has a set of ethical codes known as “safe, sane, and consensual” (SSC). This ethical code is based on mutual trust and respect and emphasizes the importance of informed and voluntary consent for any BDSM activity. Moreover, SSC highlights the need to act rationally and avoid any acts that could be harmful or dangerous. Thus, sticking to SSC principles can help ensure a safe and meaningful BDSM experience.
Exhibitionism And Voyeurism
In simple terms, exhibitionism is the art of getting turned on by stripping or having sex in front of people. Voyeurism on the other hand is the art of getting turned on by watching people strip or have sex in front of you. For a magnitude of reasons society frowns on people that practice both and when you look at it the way they do, you’ll agree that it’s a heinous act. It will never be okay to watch another person have sex without their consent. It will also never be okay to potentially traumatise someone by having sex in front of them without their consent.
However, if all parties involved are adults that want to partake in the activity then frankly, it is nobody’s business. It concerns only the participants of the activity. Genuinely, and said with as much kindness as I can muster, everyone else(and their opinions) can just f***k off. These activities should be seen as taboo when and only when it is done without consent from the adults involved.
How To Practice This Safely
It is vital that before engaging in voyeurism and/or exhibitionism you get consent from all individuals involved. Both acts can be risky, and all parties involved must be aware of the potential dangers and how to keep themselves safe. Establishing boundaries and preferences before engaging in these activities can prevent miscommunication, violations of consent, and even emotional harm. It is also important that all participants are 18 years or older and are aware of the legal consequences of engaging in these behaviours in public or without explicit consent.
Another significant factor in safe exhibitionism and voyeurism is the location. In public places, it is important to avoid breaking any laws and putting oneself in a potentially dangerous situation. It is crucial to know the legal implications of engaging in public displays of nudity or sexual acts. In private locations, such as your house, make sure there is a level of privacy to avoid being caught by unexpected visitors or passersby. Also, make sure that there are no minors present. You don’t want to accidentally traumatise or violate them.
Lastly, make sure to consider the emotional and psychological impact of these activities on yourself and others involved. Exhibitionism or voyeurism can cause some individuals to feel uncomfortable or even triggered. It’s important to communicate openly and clearly with your partners about your experiences and feelings to be sure that everyone involved is okay and on the same page. Experimentation should also happen at a comfortable pace and with a mutual agreement to make sure everyone’s mental health is in a good place.
Period Sex
Period sex is the act of engaging in sexual activity while menstruating. Despite being a natural bodily function, periods have been stigmatized throughout history, and period sex, in particular, has been deemed a sexual taboo in many cultures. Firstly, period sex is completely safe and normal as long as both partners are comfortable with it. Some people may avoid period sex due to stigma, hygiene concerns or discomfort, while others may feel more comfortable with it, and it can even benefit some individuals. For instance, studies have shown that engaging in sexual activity during menstruation can reduce menstrual cramps and improve the production of feel-good chemicals like oxytocin, endorphins and dopamine.
Despite the potential benefits of period sex, it is still widely considered a sexual taboo in many cultures. This is due to several factors, including religious beliefs, cultural norms, lack of proper education about menstruation and hygiene, and basic hygiene concerns. Many religious beliefs see menstruation as unclean and therefore prohibit sex during this time. In some cultures, menstruating individuals have historically been isolated from society and considered untouchable during their period. This contributed to the formation of a culture of exclusion and significant taboos around menstruation.
Menstruating individuals have been taught to keep their periods a secret and not to engage in any sexual activity during this time. This, in turn, has led to further stigma around periods and period sex. Furthermore, hygiene concerns are another reason why period sex is deemed a sexual taboo. Many individuals may feel uncomfortable engaging in sexual activity while menstruating due to the potential for messiness and, therefore, forego the experience entirely. While it is essential to take precautions, such as using a menstrual cup or tampon, having sex in the shower or laying down a towel, there is no reason why both partners can’t enjoy a pleasurable experience while menstruating.
How To Practice This Safely
Fortunately, there are many safe and comfortable ways to enjoy sex even during your period.
First, it is essential to note that both partners must agree to engage in period sex. Doing so without mutual consent risks making one partner uncomfortable or possibly causing harm. Once both parties have agreed, preparation is key. It is important to have open communication about what each person feels comfortable with and to take necessary precautions to prevent any potential mess.
The menstrual cycle is different for every woman, and period sex may vary in comfort levels depending on the stage of the cycle. The most common concern is the mess that may occur during sexual activity during menstruation. As already mentioned, using a towel or old sheets to cover the bed is an excellent way to prevent stains on the sheets and make cleanup effortless. Additionally, partners can choose to engage in sexual positions that minimise potential messes if one or both parties feel uncomfortable with blood. One option is to have sex in the shower, where water can wash away any blood that may occur. Similarly, wearing a menstrual cup can reduce menstrual blood flow and minimize any mess during sex.
It is vital to take precautions and prioritize hygiene during period sex. Using a condom is merely as important as in any other sexual activity, as menstrual blood can carry sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Wash hands and genitalia before and after sex thoroughly. If using toys, they should be cleaned and sanitized before and after each use, and it is advisable to change the sheets and towels frequently to maintain cleanliness.
Masturbation
Masturbation is defined as the act of sexually stimulating one’s own genitals. Despite being a common practice among adults, masturbation remains a taboo topic in many cultures worldwide. The reasons for the taboo surrounding masturbation vary, ranging from religious and cultural influences to misconceptions about its effects on physical and mental health.
One reason for the taboo surrounding masturbation is its perception as sinful or immoral, particularly in conservative societies. Many religions associate sexual pleasure with sin and view any form of sexual activity outside of marriage as immoral. In some societies, the act of masturbation can even lead to social ostracism or punishment as a way to deter individuals from engaging in it.
Another reason for the taboo surrounding masturbation is the myths and misconceptions about its physical and mental effects on individuals. Some people believe that excessive masturbation can lead to severe physical health consequences, such as blindness or infertility, or can disrupt one’s mental stability. However, these beliefs are not based on any scientific evidence or medical research. In fact, masturbation is a natural and healthy form of sexual expression that can have positive effects on both physical and mental well-being.
Masturbation can help reduce stress and anxiety by releasing endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. It can also help individuals become more familiar with their bodies, which can improve sexual health and relationship satisfaction. Masturbation can also help individuals with disabilities or those who have suffered from sexual trauma to explore their sexuality within their comfort zone.
Despite the taboo surrounding masturbation, many health professionals encourage individuals to embrace their sexuality safely and without shame. For instance, the American Academy of Pediatrics affirms that masturbation is a normal and healthy part of sexuality and can play a positive role in one’s sexual development. While individuals should be informed about the risks and benefits of any sexual behaviour, including masturbation, they should not be shamed or stigmatized for their sexual preferences.
How To Practice This Safely
As already explained, masturbation is a natural and normal part of human sexuality. Many people start exploring their own bodies during adolescence, and others continue to do so well into adulthood. There are many reasons why people choose to masturbate, including sexual pleasure, stress relief, and learning about their bodies. Despite its growing acceptance, there are still concerns about the safety of masturbation, particularly for adults.
Firstly, it is important to use good hygiene practices when engaging in masturbation. Regular hand washing before and after masturbation is necessary to prevent the spread of bacteria and other potentially harmful microorganisms. Using a clean and well-lubricated sex toy or other objects can also reduce the risk of infection and injury.
Secondly, it is important to avoid excessive or rough stimulation, which can cause injury or irritation. The skin of the genital area is delicate, and excessive friction or pressure can cause microscopic tears or abrasions, making you more susceptible to infections and transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. Additionally, rough handling of sex toys or other objects can cause damage to the sensitive tissues of the genitals, leading to discomfort and pain.
Thirdly, it is important to pay attention to the signals your body is giving you. If you experience discomfort or pain during masturbation, you need to stop and take a break. Pain or soreness could be a sign of an underlying medical condition, such as an infection or inflammation, that requires further treatment. You need to be aware of your own limits and avoid pushing yourself beyond what feels good or safe.
Threesomes And/Or Orgies
Threesomes are sexual activities conducted between three individuals. They may involve physical contact, oral sex, or sexual intercourse. Threesomes can happen between people in a relationship or with strangers. The act itself is not illegal, but there are societal norms and values associated with such activities.
Orgies, on the other hand, are sexual activities conducted within a group. These groups can range from two to several individuals. Orgies are typically characterized by sexual activities such as oral sex, intercourse, anal sex, and group masturbation. Similar to threesomes, orgies are not illegal, but they are considered taboo by many societies.
Both threesomes and orgies are considered sexual taboos due to various reasons. For one, they challenge traditional notions and values regarding sex, relationships, and marriage. Many societies view sex as something that should only happen between two individuals, preferably in a committed relationship or marriage. As a result, anything that deviates from this norm is considered taboo. Threesomes and orgies are viewed as immoral, unnatural, and a threat to traditional values.
Moreover, threesomes and orgies are often associated with promiscuity and lack of self-control. Individuals who engage in these activities are often judged, criticized, and stigmatized. They are considered deviant and seen as a threat to societal norms and values. Furthermore, threesomes and orgies are often seen as unsafe breeding grounds for STDs.
Despite the social taboos associated with threesomes and orgies, they remain a popular sexual fantasy in contemporary society. The rise of the internet and social media platforms has made it easier for individuals to find like-minded partners and explore their sexuality. There are websites that cater to individuals seeking threesomes or orgies. Lastly, as I have already repeated severally, As long as everyone involved are consenting adults, you can literally do anything you want(just make sure it’s legal and if it’s not, try not to get caught (*wink* *wink*).
How To Practice This Safely
Though still considered taboos, threesomes and orgies have become increasingly popular in recent years, with many consenting adults exploring sexual experiences with multiple partners. However, these activities come with inherent risks, including exposure to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and emotional discomfort. As such, it is important for individuals engaging in threesomes and orgies to take steps to ensure that they are practising safely.
First and foremost, communication is the most important thing when it comes to engaging in group sexual activities. As it is with Exhibitionism and Voyeurism, all parties involved should have a frank and honest discussion about their boundaries, desires, and expectations. This includes discussing what activities are on and off the table, and establishing safe words or signals in case someone feels uncomfortable or wants to stop.
Additionally, all participants should be on the same page when it comes to the use of protection. Condoms should always be used during intercourse to prevent the spread of STIs, and participants in oral sex should consider using dental dams or other protection to prevent transmission. It is also important to take time for STI testing before engaging in group sexual activities and to make sure that all participants are up to date on vaccination against viruses such as HPV.
Emotional safety is just as important as physical safety when it comes to engaging in threesomes and orgies. All parties should be aware of each other’s emotional well-being and should check in regularly to make sure that everyone is still comfortable and consent is still freely given. Jealousy or discomfort can often arise in group sexual activities, so participants should have a plan in place to deal with any such emotions in a healthy and respectful way.