For young women, finally stepping out from the wings of their parents, the idea of being an adult is all fun until it’s not. No one tells you about the unexpected hurdles or the death-defying monster that hides in the dark. His name is Bill. Get it?
Things change drastically after your teenage years. And in times like this, with blurred traditional markers of adulthood and the economic, technological, and social changes that have conspired to further complicate the path to adulthood, coming of age for young women could not be more confusing. And why wouldn’t it be? We’re blazing trails in our careers; learning where we’re great and where we aren’t; experiencing loves that have the potential to last, inventing novel ways of caring for our parents while insulating ourselves from their own fears and discovering, while at it, that there are levels to toilet paper.
Here’s the fact: adulting is overwhelming as h*ll, but to help you navigate these perils, we’ve whipped up the handy little guide below:
Adulting 101:1 – Always Ask The Question
When you first enter the adulting world, you are sure to feel lost in the midst of all the chaos.
I mean…
What are these taxes that are accounting for almost half your income?
Why is there barely any money left after you pay rent?
Why on earth is tissue paper the most expensive thing on your grocery list?
As overwhelming as all these may seem, the light at the end of the tunnel lies in the fact that you are still young at this. Here’s the thing about newbies in any situation; they frequently end up with more expertise than experienced workers because they ask questions and seek help. So learn from a range of people and remain open to well, change. If faced with the choice of either the predictable (say working in a coffee shop) or the unconventional (like translating comic books), don’t fear the unconventional. Admit what you don’t know freely because that’s how you grow confident and bold. Don’t worry about that ‘experienced adult next door; he/she doesn’t have all the answers either.
Adulting 101:2 – Decide What’s Really Worth Your Cash
One of the greatest things about being an adult is having control of your money. I, for one, didn’t understand how expensive snacking could be until I started spending my own money on my own snacks. $70 a week on smoothies seems normal but when you really crunch out the numbers, that’s $3780 a year. So, before you nod yes to that tropical trip with your crush, please give a solid thought to what you’re spending on. You have to reduce your spending on things that aren’t important to you, or this adulting stuff would really suck for you. A simple conscious spending plan might look like the envelope system. Ever heard of it? No? Again, you’re in luck. Decide how much you wish to spend on select areas of your life, then get some envelopes (I never exceed five) and put in each just what you need. Once they’re empty, party’s over—no more spending for that month.
Adulting 101:3 – Use Your Own Words
Unrequited love is part of being a teenager, but when it comes to being an adult, it’s time to start doing things a little differently. To build relationships that last, you need to treat them with respect and responsibility, and that all starts with good communication. When you’re dating someone, expressing your needs and concerns will make it much easier to figure out whether you could build something together. Let’s say you’ve been on several dates with your potential partner, and they still haven’t made a move: many women worry in this situation, wondering whether they should wait for their love interest to take the initiative. Rather than silently worry, be brave and bring it up. Even if they don’t react in the way you’d hoped, everyone’s expectations are on the table and you can move forward.
Adulting 101:4 – Optimism Goes A Long Way
It is imperative to cultivate optimism because things aren’t always going to work perfectly. You’re going to face days when nothing goes right, and how you confront those moments would make all the difference. Strengthen your positive thinking by practicing it often. Say you’re nervous about an interview, take some time the night before the appointment to mentally relax. Visualize the situation in as much detail as you can if you’d like. How do you enter the room and greet your assessors? What do you say, hear and see? How do you position your posture as you communicate with them? In what mood do you leave once the interview is over? Mental rehearsals such as this would help you feel more confident, and if it makes you feel a little silly don’t worry about it. It means you’re doing something right.
Adulting 101:5 – Be Flexible, It’s Not That Serious
Respond flexibly to the various ‘adulting settings you’ll face because this is vital. Not everything is worth your rigidity so try out new techniques in the face of problems; particularly when your usual way of doing things is no longer as effective. Rather than stubbornly persist in the face of rejection or roadblocks, formulate and reset new approaches to accomplish your goals. Think. Seek out new resources, specialized information, or appropriate mentors where you need to. That way, you would be better able to self-reflect and tailor your goals to the ever-changing conditions of our clime.
Eventually, you’ll come up against situations where positive thinking alone wouldn’t do the trick. Your attitude in these cases would be what matters. If you believe you were born naturally gifted at some things but a complete failure at others; then you’ll find it hard to recover from setbacks. You’d best learn how to treat your failures as opportunities reversed. Analyze and learn from your mistakes, laugh as much as you can, and always welcome reasonable advice because honestly; you need all the help you can get sis.