Confession: My Sister Is My Boyfriend’s Main Chick

I met my boyfriend on Facebook. He was very sweet and incredibly charming. Slowly, yet surely, I found myself falling for him. We just vibed well and after a while, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. It wasn’t easy at first. We lived in different states and every one knows long-distance relationships are hard but we found a way to make it work. Not once did he give me any inclination that maybe… just maybe, he might be cheating on me. We talked ALL the time, texts, video calls, you can name them. No matter how difficult our schedules got we found a way to make time for each other. I was never ignored or neglected, I was loved thoroughly, so you can see why I had no reason to doubt him.

Four months into the relationship, I introduced him to my family. That was when he met my sister. I loved this man and he loved me, well, that was what he had me believe so, of course, I suspected nothing. Everyone loved him and got along with him just fine. At the back of my mind, I thought I may have just found the one.  A few months later he called to say that he was coming to see me. At the time, I was still enrolled in school while he was working. I was so excited that he could find the time out of his busy schedule to come and see me. When he came I welcomed him, he ate and he told me that he actually came for a reason and that he won’t be staying for long.  I was thinking he just wanted to tell me something special. I have never been more wrong in my entire life.

“I think you should sit down”, he said.

Perplexed, I sat. “What’s up?” I asked him. “What’s going on?”

He stared me dead in the eyes and said, “I’m dating your sister”.

His words didn’t register at first so, I had to ask, “What?”

He paused for half a second before repeating the exact same thing, “I’m dating your sister. We’ve been dating since you first introduced me to your family.”

I laughed.

“Stop. You and your jokes.” I got up and started walking towards the kitchen while asking, “Is there anything else you’d like to ea-” 

He cut me off before I could finish the sentence. “I am not joking”

This was the man I loved. I knew what he sounded like when he was happy, sad, confused, angry and yes, serious. He was not joking. I knew it, he knew it but I could not accept it. Physically, my body couldn’t tolerate it. So I repeatedly asked him to stop joking around but he told me over and over again that he was not joking.

Eventually, I just stood there. I was rooted in shock. I didn’t even notice when he left. But he did leave. When I finally realized he was gone, almost like an out-of-body experience, I saw myself sink to my knees and watched as tears rolled down my face but not once did I feel them or anything else really. Years have gone by and that is still the greatest shock I have ever experienced in my life. I sat there for hours trying to process the whole thing and I thought to myself, “Isn’t this what happens in Nollywood movies? Is that what is happening to me right now?“

That same evening my brother called me to let me know that he was about to send me some pictures. After the call, he sent me pictures of my “boyfriend” and my younger sister at a hotel. He said he went to the hotel to do his own business and that was when he saw them from afar but they didn’t see him. He was shocked but instead of confronting them, he decided to watch them. That was when he told me what I already knew, that my sister was going out with my boyfriend. I was still in utter shock, it felt like I was having a bad dream and so I invited my sister to come and see me so that I could confront her about it. I just wanted to hear her say it was a lie. I wanted… no, needed another explanation because what was happening to me, couldn’t have actually been happening.  

When she came I told her what I heard and she went ahead to tell me that it was true. She claimed he texted her first and that she didn’t know who it was until they met up. She kept saying a bunch of things that were not adding up. I was so mad, I couldn’t think straight. All I saw was red. The whole thing really affected me mentally. I was depressed and I suffered a lot from low self-esteem for years. I carried the imprint of my sadness with me for a very long time. It hurt as much as it did because I was truly, deeply in love with him and he broke my heart. He shattered it into a billion pieces. I couldn’t see how I was supposed to begin putting it back together.

If this had happened between him and a friend maybe it wouldn’t have hurt as much but it didn’t. He wanted a side piece and he chose my SISTER. I felt so bad. I had to distance myself from my sister for a very long time. I needed to heal, get myself out of my depressive state, and find a way to love myself again. I needed to be okay with the love that came from me. During this time, there were people around me who were affectionate and helpful. The thought of someone leaving you for your younger sister would take a toll on anyone so some people could sympathize. 

I don’t know if they went ahead with their relationship because I didn’t bother to ask or find out. After a while, I became grateful for what happened and when it happened, because I got to know who this person truly was before going too deep into anything with him. Honestly, it could have been worse. So far my relationship with my sister is just what it is. We are sisters, that is it. We are cool but there is no trust. I can never tell her about any of my relationships or any potential partner. If she comes to see me and I have a guy over I would never leave her with that person, not even for a second. We are still sisters and like my dad would say:

 “They gave birth to the both of you together. There’s nothing you can do about it. Family is family.”