The festive season is usually a time of joy, laughter, gifting, kindness and gratitude. It’s a time people come together to show love and compassion to each other. Friends and family members that usually annoy and avoid each other find a way to put all their differences aside and be there for and with each other. Though this is the reality for some people, it’s the complete opposite for a select few. Not everyone has family to connect with at the end of the year. Not everyone thinks they have a reason to be grateful. Not everyone can focus on the love and joy that fills the air at this time. There are so many reasons why this might be the case. Here are some:
- Some people have lost so much in the year that their hearts are just too heavy to be happy. Some have lost people to time, distance, priorities, the reality of life and the enigma that is death.
- Some are too far away from their families and the homesickness can be almost unbearable.
- Some are struggling financially. So much so that it’s all they can think about. There’s no room for anything else.
- Some may be time travelling a bit. They’re looking back at their year and thinking they achieved nothing. They’ve had another lap around the sun and they feel they are exactly how they started out that year and it leaves a bad taste at the back of their throats.
- Though this might seem weird to some, many people get sad at the thought of having to see their family. Some families bring out the worst in people. They don’t feel warm or loving, they’re just heavy weights you want to put down and you get to do that all year except once. Every year, when the festive season begins, you’re inclined to pick up these weights and endure the pain. It would make anyone sad.
- They didn’t get to do the things they set out to do this year. Their goals and new years affirmations were practically useless. It can and does weigh on a person.
Though the holiday blues are not recognized as a psychiatric condition in the manual used by clinicians to diagnose mental health conditions,-‘The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders’, they could be an indication of something more serious or could lead to things like holiday depression or seasonal affective disorder (SAD). This type of major depressive disorder (MDD) manifests itself in specific months of the year according to seasonal patterns. SAD occurs in 0.5 to 3 percent of individuals in the general population; it affects 10 to 20 percent of people with major depressive disorder and about 25 percent of people with bipolar disorder, Medline plus shares. In the article Seasonal Affective Disorder, Steven D Targum, MD and Norman Rosenthal, MD also share that the “winter blues” affect 14 percent of Americans, on average.
Kendra Cherry an educational consultant and Steven Gans a board-certified psychiatrist share that it can be difficult to distinguish between the holiday blues and the other two types of depression. The length and intensity of your symptoms are typically your greatest indicators, but holiday depression and SAD can be hard to separate from one another.
- Holiday depression typically begins in late November or early December and dissipates soon after the new year. The signs are also typically quite subtle.
- SAD normally lasts roughly 40% of the year. It frequently worsens and can be crippling.
In order to identify exactly what you’re going through; the holiday blues or a more serious mood illness, you should speak to your doctor or a mental health expert, especially if the holiday season is over and you’re still feeling down and/or lethargic.
Some symptoms of the holiday blues are:
- More exhausted than normal.
- Feeling tense, apprehensive, or concerned.
- Alterations in weight or appetite.
- Alterations in sleeping habits.
- Loss of enjoyment in activities you once enjoyed.
- Moodiness or depression.
- Feelings of guilt or worthlessness.
- Difficulty paying attention.
It may feel like it’s impossible to pull yourself out of your feelings during this period and it probably is. There’s a lot going on. You can’t magically become happy just because you want to be. Feelings of sadness stay. They linger and make a home in our hearts. So yes, there’s no ‘cure’ and you can’t will yourself to feel better, however, there are ways you can manage these feelings. There’s a way to make them feel a bit lighter.
- Sleep. Sleep as much and as often as you can.
- Don’t be a people pleaser. Say no to any and everyone. Focus on what you want(Yes, this is easier said than done but it can be done!).
- Try to accept that the world is an imperfect place which means nothing you want will come to you the way you want it to. Try to embrace that. Try to embrace that uncertainty.
- If you’re in pain, if you are grieving, try to let your loved ones hold you and love you. It’s okay. It’s okay that you’re not okay. It’s okay.
- Do the things you love and only the things you love. You deserve your love.
- Try to avoid excessive drinking ALL THE TIME. When the new year starts you just might hate yourself for it. Choose the things you know your body thrives on. She will thank you for this. She will love you for this.
- Never forget that you’re not alone. There are so many people going through something incredibly similar to your situation. You could find some kinship in that.
- See a therapist, if you can afford it. See a therapist, if it feels like the thing to do and even if it doesn’t- see a therapist. Your body, soul and mind may just thank you for it.