The first few minutes preceding an introduction to someone you’re attracted to is very important. This is the point where you calm your unruly heart and size them up as you go over possible conversation starters to spark their interest. So what happens, when after all these preparations, the next thing that comes out of your mouth is “I think I know you from somewhere”. Better still, how do you respond, as a woman, to such a lackadaisical and cringey approach, when it is more than glaring that you, in fact, do not know this person from anywhere.
Unfortunately this is the reality of most African women. And we don’t speak as much about the popularity of this cheesy approach as we should: the underlying effect of continuously using bad pickup lines. In an independent study conducted by Girlily, 56% of women said they would not engage in a conversation with a stranger who approached them with a bad pick up line. Of course there are many reasons for this, safety being one of them, but even that aside, in Africa’s sweltering heat, the last thing any woman wants to do is explain to you how whatever “just blew you away” was not her fart.
We asked women(Girlilies) to tell us the worst pick up lines that have ever been used on them. Here’s what they said.
- Let me be the nose to your mask.
- Your edges look like you need me to bring you to the edge.
- You look familiar, have we met before?
- Can you use your glasses to x-ray my soul.
- I’ve seen this face before.
- You look juicy.
- I like you because you can speak English.
- Are you a lizard cos agama eyes on you.
- I saw you and came in my pants.
- Hi, you look very hardworking.
- You have the same name as my mother.
- You must be tired cos you’ve been running through my mind.
- When last was your boob sucked?
- The Lord said to me…
- Your boobs got me like…
- I really like you and I want to take care of you more than your current man.
- You look similar.
- You look like my sister.
- Are you a thief cos you just stole my heart.
- You are my mother’s name sake.
- Come and cook for me.
- The Lord told me you’re my Eve.
- When I saw you licking ice-cream, I remembered my grandma.
- Hey, sweetheart, I want to get to know you more.
- My colour!
- Do you know you’re beautiful.
- You look like someone I know.
- I wish I met you before my wife.
- You dance so well, you know I’ll marry you right?
- I know you.
- Hello Enjel.
- I just came back from the States.
- Sister, Angel, hisss, hey.
- Hey babe you Look like my type.
- You look like my future wife.
- I can’t live without you.
- You look like my ex.
- You smell like my wife.
- I think you have the “VE” to my “LO”
- You look take away.
- Are you Jamaican because you’re Jamaican me crazy.
- Baby is your father a terrorist cos you’re the bomb.
- You have a fine shape but you’re not that pretty.
- I love you talk your own.
- Between isiewu and ugba which do you prefer?
- Have you eaten?
- Did you fall from the sky cos you look like an angel.
- Have we met before?
- You walk like a dancer.
- Can we be friends for now?
- Do you know who I am?
- I fell in love with you the first day I set my eyes on you.
- Heard your voice and couldn’t feel my legs.
- You’re under arrest for stealing my heart.
- You look like a rose, your name should be rose.
- Sugar in my tea.
- Baby i see the sun and the moon when I look into your eyes.
- You look like my next girl friend.
- Tell me about your self.
- Are you trash cos I’d like to take you out.
- Girl you look hot, where you born on a Sunday Morning.
- Are you gorilla glue cos I’m stuck on you.
- You for like to give me your number.
- Let me be the spider man to your Maryjane.
- Your shape is a killer.
- Apple of my eye, cockroach in my cupboard.
- Afa, make we relate.
- Does you mummy sell okra you dey draw my attention.
- Did you just fart because you blew me away.
- Omoo!
- I think I know you from somewhere x 25