We all dream of being in the perfect relationship, and being cherished by the perfect partner. We all long to feel the butterflies that come with being in love and when it happens, we all pray and hope that our romantic relationships lasts forever. The reality, as you know, is that there is no perfect relationship, and nurturing a happy one takes a lot of work. The good news though is that, the level of work to be done in a romantic relationship is greatly minimized when we carefully look out for certain qualities in our would-be partners before taking the proverbial leap. After extensive research, we curated a list of the 5 qualities you really need in a partner. Asides from love and loyalty, which are obviously the cornerstones of all happy relationships, the following qualities when present in your partner makes for a far stronger bond between you two:
Genuine Kindness
One of the five qualities you really need in a partner in genuine kindness. It is important to have a partner who treats you kindly but how he treats the people he isn’t dating should concern you just as well. If he is a good friend to his circle, chances are high that he will be equally great to your friends and to any new acquaintances you both would make. If you notice that he lacks basic human empathy towards strangers from the onset, regard this information as an indicator of his true nature, like a mirror to his soul. Do not labor under the illusion that he can be tailored better and changed to suit your budding relationship, because you can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to change. Treat this as a red flag, before you commit any further.
Honest Communication Skills
You’ve probably heard it all before but it truly is so important that I’ll repeat it once more: do not settle for someone who cannot hold honest communications with you about anything and everything. This is one of the most important qualities you really need in a partner. It matters immensely that his feelings are shared freely with you and that he listens (not just hears) when you bare yourself to him. If he isn’t mature enough to come to your conversations open, willing to learn how his actions make you feel, and confident enough to apologize and make amends when he is in the wrong (because like you he too will be wrong on certain days), then you should know that you are leaping into the relationship all alone.
Self Discipline
For your relationship with your partner to bloom, you both have to be disciplined enough to form and hold onto your individual ideals to better realize that you aren’t meant to be each other’s responsibilities or burden. It is necessary for your own sanity as a woman to ensure that your partner is, not only disciplined enough (in his emotions, finances, and every other facet of his being) to hold himself accountable for his own actions but also, willing to grow; otherwise you would find down the road that you had signed yourself up for a lifetime of emotional and psychological labor. It shouldn’t be up to you to manage his affairs for him; and if you already feel like it’s part of your ‘job description’, then that’s your clue to pause and reevaluate your relationship. The longer you take, the tougher it will become.
High Self Esteem
Find someone who already knows his self-worth and let him love you because the chances are incredibly high that he will love you well. It is so important that you walk into a romantic partnership knowing that you are both enough for each other, because relationships such as these enjoy happy and lasting tomorrows. There is more room for both you and your partner to grow and without the weight of making him ‘feel like a man’ on your shoulders; you are free to be yourself around him. Your dreams wouldn’t threaten him and your successes would be treated with unabashed joy, as though they were his very own.
A Natural Cheerleader
Being with someone who tends to be a natural cheerleader is one of the often underestimated qualities you really need in a partner. Life is full of both the good bright days and the blue dreary ones and so in any romantic relationship, it is necessary that your partner be of good cheer. Fall in love with someone who understands the value in cheering on people we love especially when the going gets rough because it most certainly will. Quieting the voices of your inner doubts are hard enough, the last thing you need is a partner who sees a problem for every solution you bring to the table.
Finally, you don’t have to compromise your ideals to keep your partner, and you don’t have to force yourself to settle. Walk into the relationship as open as you can dare to be, and if he does you wrong, that’s on him. You are enough, and you always would be.
If he doesn’t realize it, the joke’s on him.