I Dated Myself For A Week: Here’s What I Learned

I had no idea solo dates were a thing until I decided I wanted to take myself out, fall in love with myself and learn to be okay with being alone after a pretty bad break-up sometime in 2022. I already knew I wanted to go to coffee shops to read books and drink coffee(obvi), go to museums and live through history, go to cinemas to watch anything and everything and write, as much as I could but I knew there was so much more I could do. I decided to google solo dates and suddenly I realised this is a genuine thing. People do this shit. It made me smile. I love love with all of my heart but I grew up very lonely, thinking the only thing that could ‘save’ me was the love of a partner. When I learned my love could be enough, it became a game changer for me. I still love love and still believe in it and I have welcomed it as an amazing addition to my life but that’s what it is, an addition. I still have more than enough room for my love.

Anyways, I know most of you are wondering; what exactly is a solo date? Simply put, solo dating means dating yourself. This is when you do everything you would normally do on a date with someone else, entirely by yourself. So, I decided to try this thing out. To test out what it means to be okay on my own and went on nine solo dates;

1. Coffee and a book.
2. Museum hopping.
3. Painting(badly) in a park.
4. Movie night and wine.
5. Swimming in the ocean.
6. Wash day(hair) and mani-pedis.
7. Yoga and meditation morning.
8. An open mic ‘show’ for poetry, stories and music.
9. An evening drive with the cool air on my face and music so loud, it was almost deafening.

Here’s What I Learned

• No one gets to decide what dating yourself looks like. It’s entirely up to you.
• If you think you “need” anyone to be a complete person, you’re wrong.
• You can most definitely have fun all on your own, without anyone else involved.
• Try new things. Don’t do it to get good at them, do it to enjoy the moment.
• There is so much more to do in this world than sit around and be consumed by a device.
• It’s okay to be in public on your own. You do not look weird.
• I am way more confident than I gave myself credit for.
• I realised that I deserve to be doted on. I deserve to be cared for and loved completely, without reservations.
• Dating myself has taught me so much about who I am, and my relationships are better for it. I’m wayy more understanding and patient than I ever was.
• I can have my cake and eat it too. I don’t have to compromise.
• No one can ever love me like I love me.
• I don’t have to worry about ‘who gets the bill’.
• I also don’t have to worry about who’s playing me and who’s genuine. I can just be.
• The solitude is EVERYTHING.

When I started dating myself, some of my friends found it weird. They kept asking, “How exactly does one date themselves? Well, here’s how:

How To Date Yourself

• To start, go with something that makes you comfortable. That could be reading, watching movies or playing games. Just make sure you pick something familiar.
• Plan it like you would any other date or meeting. Put it on your calendar if it’ll make you take it more seriously.
• Wear either what makes you comfortable or what you would wear on this date if it were with someone else. If they’re worth it, so are you.
• Compliment yourself every day!
• During your date, be intentional as hell. Pay attention to yourself the way you would another person. Intentionally get to know yourself and if you can, write about it. Make journaling your best friend.
• Buy yourself all the gifts you wish someone else would.
• Practice self-love every day.
• Have sex with yourself. Sexual pleasure can be mind-blowing. There’s no reason you can’t make yourself feel all those feelings someone else can. Use your hands or use toys. Whatever works best.
• When you’re ready for it, do the things that always scared the hell out of you. Get uncomfortable.

41 Date Ideas You Can Try Today

1. Go to a cafe with a book and spend a few hours drinking coffee and reading.
2. Go museum hopping.
3. Get a mini canvas and some paint and go Paint(badly) in a park.
4. Movie night and wine.
5. Swim in the ocean.
6. Wash day(hair) and mani-pedis.
7. Have a yoga and meditation morning.
8. Attend an open mic ‘show’ for poetry, stories and music.
9. Go for an evening drive with the cool air on your face and music so loud, it’s almost deafening.
10. Go on a nature walk.
11. Have a DIY spa night at home.
12. Volunteer for a cause you care about.
13. Go shopping.
14. Make yourself a three-course meal.
15. Book a spa day or facial.
16. Grab your favourite sex toy or your hand, light some candles, and enjoy yourself.
17. Have a solo photoshoot.
18. Go on that trip you’ve always wanted to go on.
19. Sign up for a dance lesson or go dancing in a club.
20. Attend a play or musical.
21. Go skydiving or bungee jumping.
22. Go to an art gallery.
23. Put on a formal dress and go somewhere fancy like the opera.
24. Take a pastry-making class.
25. Make yourself a charcuterie board with expensive meats and cheeses. Enjoy it with wine.
26. Book a nighttime helicopter or boat ride.
27. Have dinner at a fancy restaurant.
28. Go to your local library, sign up for a card, find your favourite book, and start reading.
29. Go wine tasting.
30. Book a hotel room for a solo weekend getaway.
31. Sign up for a floral arrangement class.
32. Go on a bike ride along the beach.
33. Try surfing.
34. Have a picnic.
35. Check out a live show.
36. Sign up for a cooking class.
37. Try pottery.
38. Play tourist in your own city, and go around it, making sure to visit places you’ve never been before.
39. Attend a book reading.
40. Attend a sip and paint event.
41. Spend the entire day at the mall.